Rants From the Demon Nerd
by DemonFiccer
Summary: This is going to be a series of topics, from anime/games/fan fiction to normal life that I will basically point out and have a rant about. If you are interested, then check it out. If not, have a nice day. If you have suggestions for future topics, PM me with them, do not put them in reviews. Those will be ignored. Rated M for swearing and possibly uncomfortable topics.


Well, I honestly can't believe I'm doing this. My friends at college keep pressuring me to do this because they love my antics at school. Here's what I'm talking about. I'm going to be making a series of rants, plain and simple. The topics will be varied, but definitely include some anime, gaming, cartoon, fan fiction, all sorts of topics involving us and topics of normal life.

I'll probably only do two or three topics at most like this, just to satiate my friends, but if you guys enjoy reading these, let me know. If that's the case, then I'll probably continue the series. If this gets pulled for not being all about anime/games/fan fiction, etc. then fine. I'll repost it on Fiction Press for readers to enjoy. Or, I might just post it here and Fiction Press just so I get twice the exposure, if only to shut my friends up about it.

One more thing: if you guys like this and would like to give suggestions for future rants (I'll weed out what I either can't or won't do), then drop a PM for me. I don't want my reviews clogged like that for suggestions, and I feel that if they're seen like that, then people might know when a topic will show up. I'd like my topics to be surprises.

Also, if you suggest a topic and would not like being credited for it, let me know. Otherwise, I will acknowledge the author (or authors, if multiple people suggest the same thing) within the introduction. All right, now to get this thing started.

One more thing (goddammit, I'm starting to sound like Uncle from Jackie Chan Adventures): If you don't like my story title, then kindly fuck off. My friends gave me that title, and I like it.

**Rants From the Demon Nerd**

**Chapter 1: Naruto: The CRA**

I've been reading a lot of Naruto stories lately, and I happened to notice a common theme among many of them. In many of the stories I've seen, Tsunade, the Council, or even Kakashi have voiced their suggestion of having Naruto placed into the CRA, which is the Clan Restoration Act, and succeeding.

For those of you who don't know, the CRA apparently grants the person under the effect of the Act to be allowed to marry multiple women and essentially start a harem. The idea behind it is to have the person repopulate the clan by having as many children as he/she can with his/her partners. However, in order to fall under the Act, the person must be the last of their clan. Since Naruto is the last Namizake (and probably Uzumaki, who knows?), he is a shoo-in for the CRA.

Now, I just have one question. How the fuck did this get so big? Seriously, when I first read a story containing this thing, I was surprised with the details provided about it. After seeing a second, and third, and fourth, etc. story with the CRA, I was stunned more than a Trekkie getting hit with a blaster. I noticed that the details of the CRA within most of these stories all were alike, almost word for word. So, I went online to find out about it.

Nothing. Not a god damned thing to be found about the CRA in the Narutopedia, Wikipedia, or even the Urban Dictionary. The last one especially shocked me, seeing as it has almost as much trivial data in it about Naruto as the Narutopedia. So, I found out from a friend of mine, who **ALSO **had a CRA story going, that it was a fan-made term, at least that he knew about.

So, a fan managed to create a detailed plot point that allows Polygamy in Konoha provided the person is the last in their clan. I'm not disgusted by this, as I honestly am unoffendable. However, the ways the CRA is used can shock me.

For one, it pairs Naruto up with almost any female in the series, anime or manga. I could understand Hinata, Sakura, Tenten, and Ino, since those four are the major female characters here. But, I've seen Temari, Karin, Fu, Yugito, Yugaro (I can't ever tell the spelling on that one), and even Tsunade. What the fuck is wrong with some of these people? I can see some of the pairings fitting, but not Tsunade/Naruto or Karin/Naruto. Karin seems more like a love/hate girl with Sasuke to me, and Tsunade? That's just creepy.

I even heard of Koharu (the old council bitch that the Hokage are forced by nature to hate) joining in to repopulate the clans. I'd rather be caught in a never-ending Guy/Lee "Fires of Youth" hug genjustsu. This shows how fucked up some people can be with their imagination. But, this isn't even the weirdest story I've heard of involving the CRA.

That honor definitely goes to the one that involved Sasuke and Naruto both being under the CRA and fucking each other in order to repopulate. That disturbs me for one reason, and no, it's not because I'm homophobic. After all, anyone can tell that ever since Naruto and Sasuke accidentally kissed in canon on episode what, two or three? Anyway, since then there was a huge fan base for that pairing.

No, I'm disturbed because it creates the scenario of M-preg. I didn't continue reading that story, and I'm glad. I don't remember the title or author, but I do remember watching a horror movie just to cleanse my mind. I keep it a habit to avoid M-preg stories mainly because I don't know how that would work. The way I imagine, it would end either with a required C-section, or the baby would be released from the Wang hole, both options I would find horrifying. And please, do **NOT** tell me how it works.

So, the CRA. I find it an interesting topic, but at the same time it floods the field with crazy and disturbing thoughts of what could come of it. If it were canon, I could imagine Naruto actually being placed under it, but I think that would suck. Under the Act, you're basically under surveillance to make sure you're repopulating the clan. I'd rather keep that shit in the bedroom where it belongs rather than letting everyone know the progress on that subject.

That is my first chapter of Rants From the Demon Nerd. If you like my story, like or review. If you have a topic idea, shoot me a PM and I might consider it. If you don't like my story, I understand. However, don't flame me because I will likely add a flamer rant here and will gladly use your name in it to shame you until the end of time.

Until then, enjoy the rest of whatever you have in your other browser tabs.


End file.
